achtungbaby1986's Xanga

I need something to change your mind...MIND!

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 16:47:37 GMT

Wow! How long has it been since I've updated this thing? Well, I figured it was time to keep everyone posted on my front. School's out, summer's here, work is there, and a bunch of other stuff. So where to begin...

School ended up not too bad. My GPA dropped a hair (from a 3.31 to a 3.28) mainly because I had too many fringe classes (classes that were on the edge of an A or a B). I got no C's this semester, and truth be told after a massive paper I knew one of my A's was going to drop, but I was upset to see my Linear Algebra grade go from A to B out of nowhere. Next semester is going to be rough since I'll be taking 18 credit hours (4 engineering and 2 business courses), and honestly the next semesters are going to be overloaded since I want to finish in 4 years and not 5. I can do it, and I know I can bring the GPA up, so let's see what the future brings.

My job is steady, and I'm enjoying it. What's funny is that I haven't been able to apply any of my schooling to work, yet I could probably apply some of my work to school. It's not overly complex, but there's a lot to do. Granted, I'm not the most motivated worker, and I haven't applied myself as much as I would like, but I know that will change. It's a great environment, and now I'm feeling more and more like one of the boys. I've still got a long way to go, but I think I can handle it. It'll be a fun ride.

I've been at my guitar so much this summer. If I was this dedicated when I was in high school, I wouldn't keep saying that I suck. I don't want to boast or brag, but I actually have gotten better at it. I can pick up songs a lot quicker by ear, sometimes after only one listen. I'm trying to create that CD that I talked about last time, but it's a grueling process. The big thing is that I still haven't found the most efficient method of progress. I've got music that would work with my idea, but trying to actually record is tedious. I got recording software for my birthday (for those of you who didn't know, my birthday was May 28th; I am now twenty), but I'm still trying to work the kinks out. I promise that this CD will be finished by the end of this calendar year, and my highest hope is that I'll finish by the end of summer before everyone goes back to college so that I can be heard. It won't be the greatest music you've ever heard, but if it's just good, then that's all that matters.

I went to Florida the first week of June. It was exactly what I needed: a vacation. Just being able to get away from central Illinois makes it worthwhile. Other than sitting in the back, reading some Purgatorio and beginning War and Peace (I swear to everyone that it will not take me a year and a half to read it!), it was really nice to see some different scenery. Sea World and Universal Studios was a blast, but something made the trip sweeter for me: after visiting those two places, my girlfriend flew down to Florida and came along with us. Everywhere we went, the already fabulous trip was made even better. The thing of it was this...we usually get to see each other once a week, but this was the first time we got to spend more days together, much less in a row. One would think that it would have caused us to become tired of each other, but it turned out that we didn't want to get apart from each other. I could talk more about the trip, but it would basically be me talking about her since that was what made it the best trip of my life. I love her.

Well, that about wraps everything up, so I will sign off. I've got some Robert Fripp (greatest guitarist that ever lived!!!) to listen to and try to learn, so until next time...
"Good night...and good luck."

Never a bad time to update

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 16:40:56 GMT

It's hasn't been too long since I last posted, but it's been a while since I've made a massive update. I figured that since I have a bit of time right now, I better do it before life catches up again.

As everyone knows, April 14th will be my last day at Wal-Mart. I got a job with Vansco, and I start on the 19th. I'll have my weekends open, and my evenings will be free for me to get homework/projects done. Plus, I'll be getting paid more. So, in the summertime, when I have full-time hours, I'll be swimming in the green!!! I won't splurge. In fact, I may put a good chunk of it in my savings to buy a sax or the like. Someone I work with plays the stock market, so I may just start dabbling in that to build up a good nest-egg for my future. Plus, a little extra cash never hurt.

I was talking to a friend of mine on campus, and he told me that next year the basketball band will need a guitarist. The more he talked about it, the more he convinced me to join. I wanted to join earlier this year, but I couldn't find the time. If I join next year, I won't have to buy a sax since I'll be jamming on guitar. I can learn songs pretty quickly if need be, and I know a good number that would get everyone going. I haven't done anything music-related at school since I graduated high school, so it would be fun to jump into that all over again.

School isn't going too badly. My grades at this point: 4 A's, a B, and a C. The B I'm not too concerned with since it's in a class I figured that I wouldn't get an A, but the C bothers me a bit. It's in a hard class (quantum physics), and he is one of the toughest (if not the toughest) graders I have had. I'll have to put a damn bit of effort if I want the B in there. If I get the B and keep the other grades constant, then I'll get a 3.6 average and bring up my overall GPA closer to a 3.4 or 3.5 which is where I want to be (mainly because I want to graduate with honors).

Jumping back to talking about playing my guitar, I've gotten a lot better. I still can't riff or solo as well as I want to, but I'm getting there. I have some hardware in my computer that'll let me record my guitar playing on there. I completed a version of Eno/Lanois/Eno's "Silver Morning," and I'm thinking of either doing another Eno/Lanois/Eno tune called "Weightless" or doing something a little different. Both those tunes were originally played on a pedal slide guitar, but since I don't have that, I tried to do the best I could to play in that style without a slide. It doesn't sound too bad. If anyone wants to hear my version of "Silver Morning," let me know since it's on my computer. I was also thinking of doing Def Leppard's "Hysteria" next, but I've got a lot to do and too many songs I want to record.

I've been with my girlfriend for almost three months now. My feelings for her keep growing and growing. Every minute I'm with her just seems to get better and better. We've had a few arguments, but arguments show that we have a strong relationship. Every good couple argues. She's absolutely amazing, and I would never waste what she has given me. I love her so much.

Well, there's the update. My freedom is looming, and I can't wait for summer. I need the sun and warmth. Winter started bad and got really good, and summer is going to further the upward trend. I know it.

*reference to Richard Pryor Show*
Until next time...*jail bars close in front of me*

Gettin' the hell out of Dodge!!!

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:23:39 GMT

Well, I'm almost out of Wal-Mart. I got a call from Vansco, and they offered me a job. I start on April 19th. My gut tells me my last day of Wal-Mart is the Thursday before Easter. I had a great time over there, but I need to go. This is a great opportunity, and if I don't take it, I'll sure as hell regret it. Wal-Mart, it's been fun, but I gotta move. Everyone, let's celebrate!!! More freedom on the weekends!!!

You see! There is a god!!!

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 05:13:15 GMT

I just want to take the time to make this statement right now:

GO BRAVES!!!! Sure, I will be honest, I had chosen other teams over you, but you proved me wrong. Keep on doing it. You are this year's model, and it's absolutely fantastic. Take out Memphis, and keep playing your A-game. I love Bradley!!!!!!!

Prince is still the man!

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 07:42:25 GMT

Today after my project demonstration, I came home to relax and begin my spring break. I started playing my computer game Star Wars: Empire at War, and VH1's Top-20 Countdown was on. At one instance, I turned back to see Prince on there. He had a new music video for a song called "Black Sweat." I saw the black-and-white cinematography, and the cool and calm yet sensuous demeanor of Prince himself with a beautiful and borderline erotic Amazonianesque woman. The song was very down-to-basics, similar in nature to "Kiss" or "When Doves Cry." Yet the song had a harder groove similar to "Gett Off." I was really impressed by it. It's got some sexy lyrics ("I'll make you scream like a white girl when I count to three" comes to mind), and it's never blatant like most supposedly sexy songs today. The best part is that the song is rooted in the same robotic funk that he perfected in the 80's yet sounds absolutely fresh and alive. All in all, this song may be a signal of an even greater album on the horizon. It may be impossible to get a Purple Rain or a Sign 'O' The Times, but it may be possible to get another Dirty Mind, 1999, or at least Parade. Check the song out and judge for yourself. To some, it may sound like run-of-the-mill modern dance, but underneath the surface is Prince reclaiming his throne as the most eclectic and versatile artist alive. Most, if not all of you, will like it.

Sitting, staring, seems so long...

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 19:28:04 GMT

Well, I had two interviews last week for internships. Unfortunately, the one for Caterpillar fell through. I got a "Dear John" letter in the e-mail, so I'm out of the running for that. They told me that it was a lot of competition for the summer internships, yet they tried to convince me to drop school for a semester to get a less-competitive spring or fall internship. I'm sorry, but school comes first. I want to get done in four years, not five or six. Their loss. The other internship interview I had was with Vansco in town. That interview went really well, but I haven't gotten a call back yet. I know that they're looking for an immediate fill-in for the spring internship, and I've got the time to do it. I'm just not a patient person unfortunately. One day, I'll learn. Now that the CAT one fell through, I can fully dedicate my time to Vansco if they'll take me. I still feel good about it, but I'm just a bit nervous about the waiting.

I've got a software project to finish up, so until next time...

Janelle, I can't wait to see you again. You make me feel so much better...

A pitiful weekend with a silver lining

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 05:52:25 GMT

Yeah, well, I am having a very shitty weekend. Work is what is making it absolutely atrocious. On Thursday, I arrive at 3, and the store manager was, for the first time since I have started working there, being a complete prick. He was very sarcastic about everything that we were doing in our department and criticized how we were doing things. He has never done that to me. Then the other managers took most of their frustrations out on me, at least that's what it seemed like to me. When I didn't work, I'd get yelled at. When I worked, I'd get yelled at. What the hell am I supposed to do? Friday was more of the same, only with boredom added to the mix. Today, well, it reached a new low. Aside from the ever-growing need to make me the scapegoat at work, a customer had the nerve to hit below the belt. I was helping an African-American couple around the $5.50 bin, and they found Sin City in there. I knew it wasn't supposed to be in there, and I said that it was really $19.82 (actually it was $19.96, but that's not pertinent to the story) and that people sometimes put it in there to gyp us. I was not insinuating that they did it, and they were very cordial with me and I figured that they understood, assumed that they weren't going to buy the movie if it wasn't $5.50, and put it back. They left, and close to when I was supposed to leave, I get called back to the manager's office. I get back there, and I'm told that the couple that wanted to buy that DVD was accusing me of racism and that I was completely insensitive toward them. For those of you that know me, you know that I am half minority myself and that I could never be that racially insensitive in my life. The manager knew that, but she still had to tell me what had happened. I felt very low knowing that someone had accused me of racism. I was not guilty, but the unfortunate rule that the customer is always right prevails, and so I had to get lectured about something that I didn't do. I also let her know that I was feeling very stressed this weekend and that things were not going my way. It's been just pitiful.

There are a couple good things that happened this weekend. First, Janelle is really helping me get through this stressful time. She has been a great support and an excellent girlfriend through all this. I need someone like her. Second, I have an interview on Thursday for an electrical engineering internship at Caterpillar. There are only four interview spots, so either they were very selective or they didn't have a big turnout with the applications (I'm thinking more of the latter, but I don't know). I was lucky, and I pray that I can get in the door.

There's my rant. Sue me if you want to. And for the record, no, I am not a racist...you dumb bastards!

Sky Saw

Fri, 17 Feb 2006 00:54:40 GMT

All the clouds turn to words
All the words float in sequence
No one knows what they mean
Everyone just ignores them

I'm taking a break from homework just to put a small blurb up on here. I saw Brokeback Mountain about a week or two ago, and it was very good. If it doesn't win Best Picture, there's something wrong with the Academy. Anyway, school is going well. The classes are taking a lot of effort and plenty of my time, so getting a breath in the mix is difficult, but I'm managing. I'm getting a lot out of this semester, and I don't feel as if I'm wearing out now. My classes are all interesting, and my lab, although reeks of effort, is actually quite engaging. That class and Microprocessors is making me feel like I could be a good EE. I got a test back in Quantum Physics today, and I wasn't happy with it until I heard the average. I was 1 point above the average, so go me!

I got the new Star Wars game on the PC, Empire at War. It's great. Unfortunately not an instant classic, but for Star Wars fans, it's worth every minute. The thing that holds it back from true greatness is the repitition in the ground missions. It comes close to feeling like a galactic civil war, but there's just something missing in the whole process. It's just hard to make a game out of two factions anymore, but Petroglyph and Lucasarts did an excellent job with the game, especially in the space missions. One gets the feeling that this was where most of the time was spent fine-tuning, but it comes out nice and clean, and it feels exactly like an all-out Star Wars space battle should be. Not a classic game, but a great one for fans of the saga, and finally one that doesn't shame the name of Star Wars. Here's hoping that Battle for Middle Earth II fixes everything that was wrong with the original and becomes an instant classic.

I can't wait for Spring Break, but I'm not on pins and needles. Partly because I have a bunch of tests and projects due right after it's over, but also because I really don't feel down at school. Sure, the work is hard, but I'm getting a lot out of it, and in the end, it will all pay off.

Janelle, I just want to be with you...

(Mau Mau starter ching ching da da
Daughter daughter dumpling data
Pack and pick the ping-pong starter
Carter Carter go get Carter
Perigeeeeeeee!
Open stick and delphic doldrums
Open click and quantum data)

It Ain't Easy

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 04:22:06 GMT

Today was Bradley's Spring Job Fair. It was absolutely chaotic. To make matters worse, I felt more like a number today than I ever felt. Ironically, I stood out in my lab lecture by making random comments to the teacher that were just damn right funny. It was just mindnumbing how impersonal some of the professionals can be, especially the CAT booth. When the main questions a person asks you deals with whether or not you are legal to work in the country is dumb. When a young Indian gentleman is asking you the questions, it's just insulting. Now, I'm not trying to be racist, especially against someone whose heritage I share, but it's not a good thing when the question the person is asking you is the same exact question you have for that person. Add even more insult to injury, my resume said that I was specifically looking for either a part-time spot or an internship, yet someone from CAT later came up to me and offered me a full-time position that would require me to relocate. I should be flattered, but he was asking me for something I was definitely not interested in. To multiply the effect, he tells me there's no spots for the summer internship program yet there are spots for fall co-op. Again, if he had read my resume, he would have known what I wanted. And then, he gives me information on a meeting on Monday, and this sheet said that there were openings for summer internship. Now I'm just confused. I'm now as confused as a white guy at a Public Enemy concert. For a place that offers many opportunities, they sure make it complicated to have any shot as an engineer.
That was really the worst of it, and to be honest the rest of the Job Fair was not a total bust. A couple of the people were very personable and seemed absolutely interested. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. I do feel defeated right now since I'm just flustered at the chaos called the Job Fair, but it's not going to be a long-term feeling. I guess I just want to get out of Wal-Mart. It isn't because I think that place sucks. It has provided me a lot of opportunities and I've enjoyed my time there. I want to get out because I feel like my life is going to be nothing but work since during the week I go to school and then on the weekends I work. My work weekend starts on Thursdays, Fridays if I'm lucky. Loverboy was wrong. Everybody doesn't work for the weekend. Some people, like me, work on the weekend. To add to that, my right knee has been having problems since the floor at Wal-Mart is pure concrete. I spend the weekend in pain and the weekdays trying to recuperate so that my knee can hurt the following weekend. It's a monotony that I can live without. If I can get rid of the pain, I can work there longer, but the pain isn't anything but that damn concrete floor keeps causing it!
I know that this post is more of a vent, but everyone needs to vent. I know life will get better. It's just on the frits right now.

Janelle, I know I'm venting a lot, and I know that a lot has happened this past month that we wished didn't happen. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm sorry that I haven't been as good a boyfriend as I could be. Tell me how I can be better because you deserve so much more than I could ever give you. You have my heart.

Sound and Vision

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 17:36:03 GMT

I was on Facebook and an old friend from Merrillville added me as a friend on there. It inspired me to find everyone I could remember from there and add them on Facebook. Even better, I'm thinking about heading back up to Merrillville for a visit over the summer if my work schedule will allow it. I haven't seen any of them in years, and I thought it would be nice to catch up on everything. I will be honest: for the longest time, I referred to my life up there as hellish. I would blame a lot of my low self-esteem moments on my time there, but the truth is this: I had a lot of fun up there. Sure, I was looked at as the geek of the school, and to say that wasn't true would be a lie (even now). There were a lot of great people, and the culture clash that was Merrillville was beneficial to my growth as a person. The people that made fun of me still respected me in a roundabout way, and they still remember me in a kind light. I look back and realize that I made outrageous comments about my life there and I want to apologize for painting a skewed portrait. I was ridiculed often up there, but I guess I was too naive and self-conscious at the time. Moving to Illinois was still the best thing for me even though I didn't really want to leave. Hindsight is 20/20, and I look back with a new fondness for my peers from Merrillville. I'll always think about what if I stayed up there, but the truth is that I was meant to move away. I may have become the person I am now if I had stayed, but there's no reason to know that. I hope that I can show all of them one day who I am now: still a geek, but a man who embraces that. I'm glad that a lot of them still remember me, and I can't be anything but honored about that. We're all different, yet I don't think we've changed that much either. I would hope to see them all again.

On the school front, I feel more confident and comfortable. I've been keeping up with my work and made sure to not slack off unless I really need a break. I may not need to do all the homework, but as long as I can keep it fresh in my head, I'll be fine. I can be myself around everyone in my classes. I may be the geek no matter what, but it's ok. It's me. If they're not comfortable with it, it's their loss.

Janelle, words cannot describe how I feel about you...

"Don't you wonder sometimes about sound and vision?"